Wrestling with Ourselves

Jul 11: Memorial of Saint Benedict, Abbot

Today is the Feast of Saint Benedict (founder of the monastic order, not the eggs). We tend to think of Benedictine monks, but his Rule wasn’t originally just meant for clergy, but lay people as well. He wanted to write a guide for following the life of Christ as much as human possible.

“My words are addressed to thee, whoever thou art, that, renouncing thine own will, dost put on the strong and bright armor of obedience in order to fight for the Lord Christ, our true King.”

So why are we reading about Jacob “wrestling with God”? Good question…

Reading 1

Gn 32:23-33

In the course of the night, Jacob arose, took his two wives, with the two maidservants and his eleven children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. After he had taken them across the stream and had brought over all his possessions, Jacob was left there alone. Then some man wrestled with him until the break of dawn. When the man saw that he could not prevail over him, he struck Jacob's hip at its socket, so that the hip socket was wrenched as they wrestled. The man then said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak."

But Jacob said, "I will not let you go until you bless me."

The man asked, "What is your name?"

He answered, "Jacob."

Then the man said, "You shall no longer be spoken of as Jacob, but as Israel, because you have contended with divine and human beings and have prevailed."

Jacob then asked him, "Do tell me your name, please."

He answered, "Why should you want to know my name?" With that, he bade him farewell.

Jacob named the place Peniel, "Because I have seen God face to face," he said, "yet my life has been spared."

At sunrise, as he left Penuel, Jacob limped along because of his hip. That is why, to this day, the children of Israel do not eat the sciatic muscle that is on the hip socket, inasmuch as Jacob's hip socket was struck at the sciatic muscle.

Jacob is on his way home now, after having stolen his brother’s birthright, fled the country, married two different women, and had several children. It was going to be strange reunion with Esau, and he surely had mixed feelings about it.

The text here is ambiguous. In some respects, the “man” appears to be an angel, in others, God himself. In still another way, possibly a demon—he guards a river, fears the dawn, and learning his name would give Jacob power over him.

So this scene may not have been an actual, physical encounter, but a vision. Jacob is wrestling with God, not out of defiance, but because he was unsure of what to do, and what was going to happen next. He didn’t know what God was asking him to do.

Finally, the man breaks Jacob’s hip, which was a definitive sign of victory in the ancient world. Then, he renames Jacob, something that is God’s prerogative.

So how is it that Jacob/Israel “prevailed”? He didn’t prevail over God; he prevailed over himself. He wrestled with his own internal demons and angels, and ultimately sees God and God’s plan for him.

Responsorial Psalm

Ps 17:1b, 2-3, 6-7ab, 8b and 15

R. In justice, I shall behold your face, O Lord.
Hear, O LORD, a just suit;
attend to my outcry;
hearken to my prayer from lips without deceit.
R. In justice, I shall behold your face, O Lord.
From you let my judgment come;
your eyes behold what is right.
Though you test my heart, searching it in the night,
though you try me with fire, you shall find no malice in me.
R. In justice, I shall behold your face, O Lord.
I call upon you, for you will answer me, O God;
incline your ear to me; hear my word.
Show your wondrous mercies,
O savior of those who flee from their foes.
R. In justice, I shall behold your face, O Lord.
Hide me in the shadow of your wings.
I in justice shall behold your face;
on waking, I shall be content in your presence.
R. In justice, I shall behold your face, O Lord.

The psalmist is lamenting that he’s been falsely accused of a crime. He calls on God for God’s justice, because he knows he’s innocent. He has faith that God knows.

Most of the time, we don’t want to be tested, but the psalmist is begging for a test, knowing that his faith is strong enough to pass. Like Jacob, he welcomes the struggle, with strong hope that God will show mercy in the end.

It’s the kind of faith and hope we should strive for, even if it means struggle in the short term.

Alleluia

Jn 10:14

R. Alleluia, alleluia.
I am the good shepherd, says the Lord;
I know my sheep, and mine know me.
R. Alleluia, alleluia.

Jesus knows us, and wants us to respond in kind. Not recognizing Jesus in our lives means we won’t benefit from the graces He offers.

Gospel

Mt 9:32-38

A demoniac who could not speak was brought to Jesus, and when the demon was driven out the mute man spoke. The crowds were amazed and said, "Nothing like this has ever been seen in Israel."

But the Pharisees said, "He drives out demons by the prince of demons."

Jesus went around to all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the Gospel of the Kingdom, and curing every disease and illness. At the sight of the crowds, his heart was moved with pity for them because they were troubled and abandoned, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is abundant but the laborers are few; so ask the master of the harvest to send out laborers for his harvest."

Jacob wrestled with an angel or a demon, and still saw the face of God thanks to that struggle. The Pharisees, on the other hand, actually see Jesus cast out a demon, and can’t seem to figure out whether He’s good or bad.

Jesus isn’t confused, He’s moved with pity. He want to help the crowds; He even would like to help the Pharisees, if only they’d listen.

We should follow St. Benedict’s advice, which is really to follow Jesus. Jesus, after all, is looking for laborers. Do we see this call as being from Heaven or Hell? Are we as confused as Jacob or the Pharisees?

In fairness, the challenges we face are not always as obvious as a demonic possession. Our temptations may be more subtle, which means our wrestling will be less overt than Jacob’s, too.